Yo Mr. President, does your stimulus package include a large sum of money so the bored and isolated can buy non-crappy 5 Hour Energy drinks? I didn't think so. Why would it?

So it's been almost a summer vacation's worth of time that I've been away from school now, only it's not summer and it's not vacation. No, it's winter, and more of a two and a half month long nap. Even with a 5 Hour Energy shot in the morning, I still get tired. I was only out for about two hours to have lunch with my mom, and I collapsed on the couch as soon as I got home. Everyday is like that now. You may be wondering why I haven't been in school just because I'm "too tired." Newsflash, I've got an actual disorder, so go lick a toaster. Right now we're sticking with PTS (sounds like "pots"). Don't ask me what it stands for because I really don't remember. It's a heart and vascular disorder where my blood pressure dramatically decreases while standing whereas my pulse skyrockets. It makes me tired and very dizzy, with the rare fainting spell.

Everyone at school has been so good to me, though. They've agreed to blank out my third quarter ranking period, so I don't have to worry about all that homework. My team (the S.W.A.T. Team [not to be confused with the SWAT Team with guns and bullet-proof vests]) created a card for me which most everyone signed, and they even chipped in to get me a $60 gift card to Movie Gallery. (I've already spent almost half of it.)

My father didn't take me seriously when I said inviting the Jonas Brothers over would make me feel better. What kind of a daddy is he? I even suggested that he tell them that I have "a rare and life-changing disorder." I thought it was a good plan.

Pft, Twitter. How would I fit this all in like, 140 words or whatever. Believe me, I'm not just saying that because it was too confusing for my smallish mush-brain. Honestly. That has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Really.

My brother just brought home my class picture. This baffles me for two reasons. One, I didn't order any pictures. Two, this picture has my face. When I got my ID card things, the picture was of my shoulder. Don't get me wrong, I love the picture. My hair looks very pretty (my acne doesn't), but...it's my face? Whatever. Who am I to question a good thing when it comes my way?

I have posters of my friends in my room. No joke. I really miss them that much. They even outnumber my Boba Fett posters! Given the fact that about three of my friends have already fallen down, that's pretty amazing. Of course, Boba is still my number one. After all, I'm not going to marry my friends.

This chair is incredibly uncomfortable. It's basically just an upholstered wooden chair. Okay for sitting in for a few minutes, not half an hour plus. At least I can take it out on the world by making seriously rude comments about things. Exercise machines are highly overrated! All they do is tone, sculpt, and increase your lifespan! There, I feel better.